I am a hobbyhorse who dances with Stafford Morris Men.
My rider, who applied on my behalf, is called John, but much more important is my name. I am called Knotty, because I bear the badge of the Town and County of Stafford, namely the Stafford Knot.
A malicious rumour was put around that my name is due to the fact that I have a wooden head, but that is untrue.
The plinth was obviously intended for use by some sort of horse, so I thought it was important that our species was represented, rather than al these Homo Sapiens types. Animate equines at that height are a bit unreliable!
When I get aboard the plinth, I propose to divide my time between doing some demonstration Morris jigs, (if I can get the music), and performing a rather complex dressage routine, (specially developed for two legged horses). As my rider will probably tire of doing that for an hour, I suspect he will wish to pontificate on the traditions of Morris Dancing. He believes that not only should England be proud of this slightly eccentric activity, but should promote it to younger generations.
He will probably explain that Morris is far from dead and will note that, over the land, we have some 15,000 fit and lively dancers, aged between 4 and 94 taking part. However we need lots more.
He may also introduce to the audience, (if any at 3 a.m.), "The Illustrious Order of Fools and Beasts". This very exclusive band represents some of the most extrovert members of the Morris community, and probably of the country. I am their webmaster.
If he gets bored talking about Morris Dancing, he may tell everyone about another exclusive body of which he is a Member, The Freemen of England and Wales. They represent the Burgesses of the towns and cities of our country and protect ancient and historic rights. [They are nothing to do with Freemasons!]
As he never gets to bed before 3 a.m. I think he will still be coherent at that time. We are both looking forward to showing off our skills in Trafalgar Square in October.
